He Is “Matchmaking” Another Lady. Would We Give Him an Ultimatum?

Reader Question:

we came across some guy online who resides 500 miles away. He’s 34 and I’m 53. He did let me know he had a woman the guy dated “locally” and that he was only on the website shopping for friends. Three months later we realized we have feelings for each and every additional.

At the same time, he still suggests he’s experiencing difficulity together with girlfriend, who isn’t some body he is “dating rich ladies” locally. He is living with the lady and’ve already been collectively for four years.

I finally chose we had to meet up with to find out if this is well worth seeking. He gave me the main reason the guy didn’t imagine it had been straight to get it done while he was still along with her. At long last gave him an ultimatum and told him I couldn’t perform second fiddle. The guy professed his really love but mentioned he had been very puzzled.

Carry out we offer him ultimatum, its this lady or myself? Am we wrong to inquire about him to create that choice?

-Nancy (Fl)

Dr Wendy Walsh’s Solution:

Oh Nancy, Nancy, Nancy! You composed for me for honesty, correct? Really, will you be sitting yourself down? Because right here comes a honey container of truth.

You are living in fantasy land, my precious woman. You haven’t also met this person whom may or may not be a guy and who may have a girlfriend.

We extremely advise you notice the documentary “Catfish” (available on iTunes and Netflix) about an on-line really love scam.

But even although you do not do that, let’s assume for a while he’s actually just who he says he’s and ignore the fact he began composing to you personally by lying about their relationship standing.

Let’s only look at the alleged facts.

A.) He is almost 2 decades younger than you.

B.) He’s in a critical union.

C.) He said right away he’s merely trying to end up being buddies.

Thus I ask you to answer, precisely why would you risk your center on such a poor choice?

The question really should not be about offering him an ultimatum, but rather, should you give yourself the really love you have earned?

If so, then this isn’t the horse you will want to ride into the sundown with. Operate, girl!

No guidance or psychotherapy information: The Site cannot offer psychotherapy information. This site is supposed just for utilize by people in search of basic info of interest regarding problems men and women may deal with as people as well as in relationships and related subjects. Material isn’t meant to replace or act as substitute for expert assessment or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misunderstood as certain counseling advice.

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